


In The Moment

by phangelica



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: 2011, 2014, 2017, Dan Howell's Family - Freeform, M/M, idk!, not actual depictions of them but references to them
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-26
Updated: 2019-08-26
Packaged: 2020-09-26 20:41:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,433
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20395831
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/phangelica/pseuds/phangelica
Summary: Moments in Phil's relationship with the Howells





	In The Moment

**Author's Note:**

> HEY, This is my first fic ever so please be gentle. Basically, the thing that "hit" the most "different" for me was the fact that Dan and Phil were closeted to Dan's family the whole time so I took moments that they shared with us or we found out about Phil and the Howells and put this new perspective on them! I hope you guys enjoy!
> 
> Thanks so much to my beta reader Kit (havethecourage2exist on tumblr) who helped me out with this fic!

**2011**

Phil felt like he was gonna be sick. He was stuck looking at all his clothes like they were the ugliest things ever to be sold to consumers in the history of men’s fashion. He was trying to decide what to pack for his trip to Wokingham that weekend. While he had been to Wokingham a couple of times before to visit Dan, this was the first time he was visiting while Dan’s parents were home. Actually, it was for the express purpose of visiting Dan’s mum for her birthday. She had invited Dan to come and visit them and Dan had basically said that he was only visiting if Phil could come. 

When Dan had first told him the story, he was shocked. Firstly, Dan hadn’t even asked if he wanted to go, he had just presumed. And sure, Phil had done that a couple of times with trips with his family but it was completely different! For one thing, Phil was out to his parents and they knew about him and Dan so they could act completely normal. How is Phil supposed to act around his in-laws who didn’t even know that Phil was their son-in-law? Dan had also sprung it on him completely randomly one night. 

Having Dan here with him in Manchester had been nothing short of amazing. After months of being a three-hour train ride away from him, having Dan be just a twenty taxi ride was incredible. They still couldn’t get enough of each other. Phil had given him a key to the apartment and Dan was there more often than not. They were laying in bed, Phil feeling completely at peace just staring into Dan’s eyes when he dropped it on him.

“You know, it’s my mum’s birthday in two weeks. She’s asked me to go back to Wokingham to visit her.”

Phil gave Dan the most adorable pout he could muster. “But that means you’re gonna leave me all alone! Danny!” He said as he wrapped around Dan’s body like a koala. Sure, he was laying it on thick but he was feeling extra sappy lately.

Dan giggled as he hugged him back. “What if it didn’t mean you were gonna be alone?”

Phil was a little confused. “What are you talking about? Are you gonna get a robot-replacement-Danny? I don’t know... I think I would miss the flesh and blood you…” He reached around to grope Dan’s ass. Dan’s proximity also has him feeling extra horny lately.

“Phil! No, I just meant maybe you could come with me? You know I would just be emo and lonely without you. Maybe if you’re there the trip can actually be bearable.” Dan looked at him with those puppy dog eyes he knew Phil couldn’t resist and twined their fingers together. 

Phil was shocked speechless. Dan had told him about his family, of course, but it had felt like he was going out of his way to make sure they never crossed paths. This had hurt Phil at first who couldn’t understand because he was so close to his parents but once Dan had explained that he was just terrified of his parents seeing right through them and basically being outed to them. While Phil understood at the time, that’s what made this change of heart even more confusing. He would never want to say no to Dan though so he tried to school his expression into something more comforting, and replied with an easy-going of course.

And that’s how he had ended up here, bricking it over which plaid shirt he should bring. Besides finding all his clothes hideous all of a sudden, he was also afraid of how his clothes would make him be perceived by Dan’s family. He had never really thought of it that much but did he dress gay? He felt stupid even thinking it but he couldn’t help it. If he did anything to cause Dan pain, even inadvertently, he wouldn’t be able to live with himself. Then again, if he and Dan were just friends, why does it matter if he’s gay? It wasn’t as if straight people couldn’t be friends with gay people. This whole thing was giving him a headache, and he’d barely started packing!

He was roused out of his thoughts by keys going into his front door. The first couple of times that Dan had walked in unannounced he had freaked out and thought he had reached the end of his life. He had now grown more or less used to it besides the warm feeling he would get in his chest at the domesticity of it all.

“Honey, I’m home!” Dan yelled as he walked into the flat. He walked into the bedroom and looked around at the mess of clothes strewn about. “What’s all this, Phil? Don’t tell me you haven’t started packing?! For fuck’s sake, Phil, we leave tomorrow morning!”

“I’m sorry! I might be having a slight panic attack thinking about meeting your family.”

Dan’s expression immediately softened. “Oh, Phil. You don’t have to worry at all. First of all, you’re the most lovable person on the planet. They’d be absolute freaks to not love you as much as I do.” Dan walked up to him and gathered him in his arms. This past year somehow Dan had grown even more and was catching up to him and Phil made himself small to fit himself on his chest while hugging him. “Second of all, they don’t even know that we’re dating so it won’t be the same as meeting a boyfriend’s family. Just try to think of it like meeting a friend’s family and that’s it.”

Phil heaved a sigh in Dan’s arms. While he knew Dan was trying to make him feel better, he also knew that Dan was probably having his own anxieties about the whole thing. Phil backed up to look into Dan’s eyes. “It’s not really like meeting a friend’s family though, is it?”

As Dan looked into his eyes, it was like he was staring right into Phil’s soul. “You’re right. It isn’t really. Because the only family that matters to me is right here.” 

Dan blushed as he said it and quickly moved in close to rub his nose against Phil’s. Phil smiled and pulled Dan in closer to give him a quick kiss on the lips. “Besides,” Dan continued, “Don’t think I’m above ripping each of them a new one if they even give a bad look your direction, so I think you should be more worried for them.” 

Phil immediately cracked up. The way Dan always relieved the tension within him was honestly like magic. He fell back into his bed, taking Dan with him to show him how much he loved him. He’ll finish packing in the morning.

**2014**

Dan is going through the mail when he sees the envelope addressed to him from his parents. They had told him over the phone that they had gotten him a card so he isn’t shocked to see it. He opens it up in the middle of their lounge and looks at the picture on the front. It shows people drinking having a great time with a caption saying, “They raised their glasses to those less fortunate than themselves. To those who lived a life of bleak solitude, loneliness, and desperation. Or ‘Northerners’ as they were also known.”

Dan’s shocked into stillness. What the fuck? He can’t get his mind around the card and he doesn’t know how much time passes with him just staring at it when Phil’s voice breaks through his thoughts. 

“Dan? What’s wrong? What came in the post?” He felt Phil come up from behind him and peer over his shoulder at the card. Dan flushed with embarrassment. He can’t believe his parents would send such a weird card when they know he lives with Phil. Phil probably thinks his parents are some type of weird Northern racists or something and he was already insecure about his relationship with them. Maybe this is some weird message from them condemning him and Phil. His whole body goes cold at the thought. Has Phil and his relationship been discovered? Did his parents know? What does the card say—

His spiral stops short as he hears Phil’s little giggle right in his ear. He knows that giggle well and can imagine Phil’s tongue between his teeth right now. His imagination is never as good as the real thing and he turns his head to look at Phil. “What?” He asked as he slowly started to grin. 

“What do you mean ‘what’? It’s a funny card, Dan!” Phil has a knowing grin on his face as if he can tell Dan was on the verge of a mental breakdown. 

“You don’t think it’s weird? Like it’s some sort of weird insult to you?” Dan’s anxious again. While he’s glad that Phil didn’t immediately see it that way, he’s also afraid he’ll have pointed out the obvious. 

“To be honest, not really! I think they just thought it was funny. Have you read the inside? What does it say?” Dan knows even if Phil did think it was weird he would never mention it. Phil’s relationship with Dan’s parents is complicated. His parents know he lives with Phil but they absolutely never bring him up. He swears they purposefully avoid mentioning him and want to act as if he doesn’t exist. Phil still wants to be that perfect son-in-law. Even if they don’t know he’s their son-in-law.

Regardless, he has to open the card eventually. He recognizes his mother’s handwriting instantly. 

To Dan  
Say sorry to Phil about the card. Looking forward to seeing you soon.  
Lots of Love,  
Mum, Dad, Adrian, & Colin

“AW!” Phil immediately coos as they finish reading the card together. Dan is filled with a different kind of shock than before. While he’s still not sure what the tone of the card is, he knows it’s a good sign that they’ve mentioned Phil at all. He looked over and saw Phil beaming right at him.

“It’s from Colin!” Dan let out a loud laugh. 

“Colin definitely put a lot of time and effort into this card, I can just tell this is his work.” Phil looked like he couldn’t help the wide smile on his face and Dan couldn’t help but smile back. He knew Phil’s thinking about more than Colin right now but he wanted the relief of the moment to wash over him before they talk about it. Besides, Phil’s eyes say everything that needs to be said.

**2017**

Phil’s used to having lots of weird dreams. It’s strange because he feels like he has incredibly vivid dreams every night while other people claim they don’t dream at all. Last night had been a particularly stressful dream. He was in Scotland trying to get into a hotel but the security people weren’t letting him in. He couldn’t find Dan to help him even though he tried to call him. It was as if there was no internet service in this weird Scottish hotel. 

He did what he always does when he has weird dreams which is to pull Dan closer to him and tell him all about it. Dan was still asleep but it was late enough that Phil didn’t feel bad waking him up with well-placed kisses along his freckled shoulders. It was Phil’s favorite way to wake up. Dan made a sleepy noise and pushed his back against Phil’s chest more firmly.

“What?” Dan’s sleepy morning voice was something that Phil doesn’t think he could ever live without. 

“I had a dream we were in Scotland.” Phil knew he was just springing his dream onto Dan first thing in the morning but Dan was probably used to it by now. 

Dan let out a little laugh. “I’m glad you thought that was so important you had to wake me up.” Dan finally turned around and looked into Phil’s face. Even when Phil wakes him up to tell him about his random dreams he always has that fond look on his face like everything Phil tells him is the most endearing thing ever.

Eventually, they got out of bed and have a mostly lazy day, just playing video games and enjoying each other’s company. In the middle of one of their Mario Kart tournaments, Dan gets a text from his mum.

He sees Dan tense as he gets the notification. He quickly pauses the game to check what the text says. Phil knows Dan gets nervous, sometimes irrationally so, whenever anyone in his family contacts him. An anxious aura radiates from him and Phil can’t help to feel affected. 

As Dan reads the text he gets a weird look on his face. Like a mix of confused and amused. Phil feels better but is still incredibly curious. “What’s it say?”

Dan looks up at Phil and has an incredulous look on his eye. “You’re not gonna believe this, Phil.”

Phil feels the anxiety spike again but judging by the look on Dan’s face it can’t be that bad. “What!” 

“My mum just texted to tell me that last night she had a dream that we were in Scotland.” 

Phil was shocked. He was superstitious and couldn’t believe he and Dan’s mum had such similar dreams. “Oh my god! You and your mum?”

“No, my mum had a dream you and I were in Scotland! So weird, right?” Dan didn’t wait for his response before looking down at his phone to respond to his mum.

Phil was now even more shocked. Not only was he pretty sure that he and Dan's mum had identical dreams, but also he’s so used to Dan’s family not acknowledging his existence or downplaying his role in Dan’s life. While he knows why and knows that it’s necessary for Dan’s peace of mind, he can’t help but feel the sting when he’s called Dan’s “friend” by people who are supposed to be his family too. To know that Dan’s mum thinks about him enough to dream about him made him feel slightly warm inside even though he knew it wasn’t that serious. 

“Why are you so quiet?” Dan’s voice took him out of his thoughts and as he looked into Dan’s concerned eyes. 

Phil didn’t want to call attention to his thoughts. He wanted to keep it to himself for now, he didn’t want to make Dan feel nervous. So, he responded the only way he knew how. He smirked and replied, “Your mum.”

**Author's Note:**

> The first story comes from a moment in Dan Liveshow from September 25, 2012, that was recorded by youtube channel oqua here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NCt-ZuXDzIU&list=PLo_jhfmWdvHf8sjlVc77SmJ_tGAv1vaDv&index=3&t=0s
> 
> The second comes from A Festive Day in the Life of Dan and Phil where idb users found out what a card on their mantle said (if you can find the link to the idb page please let me know so I can put it in here!): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CfO_XdrvqEk&list=PLo_jhfmWdvHf8sjlVc77SmJ_tGAv1vaDv&index=3
> 
> And the third came from a Phil liveshow on January 12, 2017, that was recorded by oqua again (one of the best channels ngl): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TDV2hbrmVJE&list=PLo_jhfmWdvHf8sjlVc77SmJ_tGAv1vaDv&index=1


End file.
